the happy toaster

Yesterday I had my very first colonoscopy. When the week started, I did not expect that I would have a camera in my butt by Wednesday, but sometimes that is just how life is! I met for the first time with my new gastroenterologist, and after discussing my history and symptoms, we decided to do some blood work and the colonoscopy and esophagogastroduodenoscopy, which is a real word, by the way. The EGD is basically the exact opposite of the colonoscopy, in that the camera goes down your throat and into your stomach. He had an opening for Wednesday and I took it, figuring the sooner the better, and the less time I had to work myself up into a panic the easier it was going to be.

EVERYONE warned me about how horrible it was going to be. This is a terrible thing to do to someone right before they go under! Just say, man it’s going to be no worries, and then after it’s over you can get together to talk about how terrible it is. Not before! I felt like people were really trying to scare me. I avoided talking and doing much research on the procedure. I thought that if I went in with positive thoughts, I might have a positive experience.

I did my bowel prep Tuesday. That was awful. About 1pm I took 2 pills which were meant to kickstart my bowels, instead they gave me terrible cramps and pain. By the time I started drinking the solution after “dinner” (aka, water at dinner time) I drank it hoping that it would flush the pills out and help my stomach. That did work, but by the time I went to bed at midnight I knew what the instructions were talking about when they warned of anal irritation. I was quite irritated. But empty.

Wednesday morning I got up at 5:30, showered, and dressed in oversized pajama pants and a loose t-shirt. I put on knee length red and black striped socks. Whenever I have a procedure (which seems to be more common now) I have worn these socks. I’m not sure why, but I think if they see me wearing these “fun” socks, not just a blank slate of hospital gown and matching generic footies, I will be recognized as a person. I’m not patient 573, I’m the girl in the red and black socks. Maybe this is stupid or naive but it brought me a measure of comfort.

I was surprised that I wasn’t hungry, since my last meal had been nearly 24 hours before, but the stomach pain from the prep seemed to kill any appetite I might normally have had. We drove to the endoscopy center and arrived by 6:30 for my 7am appointment. I am very glad I got the earliest appointment, which I didn’t even think about when I booked! It is much easier to get this out of the way instead of thinking about it all day. I checked in and was taken back to the procedure room to get dressed – rather undress, and re-dressed in 2 hospital gowns. Wearing two gowns felt quite modest and comforting to me. The only thing you get to wear of your own is your socks.

I got into the procedure bed and the nurse asked me all of the check in questions about my prep and health. I asked her to tell my husband Phil that I was checked in and that he could go for breakfast if he wanted. Another nurse came in and set up my IV which she had some difficulty doing, I think I may have been a bit dehydrated, not having had anything to drink in 6 hours. She had to try a couple of times, but got it in. Then the doctor came in and talked to me about the procedure. We were basically trying to rule out obvious causes of my abdominal pain, like ulcers or colitis. After I signed some more paperwork they started the meds to put me in the “twilight sleep”. They acted very quickly. The only thing I really remember was the doctor coming back in and telling me that I had won a prize for best socks in the procedure room. I woke up a couple of times with mild pain but immediately fell back asleep.

I don’t even remember anything about the EGD which was the part I was REALLY dreading. I mean, they put a camera down your throat. I was so convinced I was going to gag on it and choke to death. I think I was more worried about that then the camera in my butt. But there was nothing to worry about.

When I woke up the doctor told me that they hadn’t seen anything too bad, I had some inflamed areas that were biopsied, I had several areas biopsied and should have results in 7-10 days. I was back home within about 3 hours of leaving. I could eat right away, which was good because I was hungry. I had woken up with a headache before the procedure and it was still there after, only a bit worse. I think it was food related. After I ate breakfast I took a “nap” for six hours. I don’t really think they count as naps if they are that long. I had an even worse headache when I woke up, so I ate another meal and had a bunch of water and felt better.

I still have some abdominal pain but it’s not too bad. I should say, I still have some different abdominal pain, because my abdominal area is always pretty tender and achy, which was the point of having the tests. Hopefully that goes away in the next couple of days. I have to give SIX STOOL SAMPLES soon, which is completely gross and I’m sure I will talk all about how disgusting that whole concept is. I wish they could do me like they do the dog at the vet, if you know what I mean. Seems a lot easier.

Even though they didn’t really “find” anything, I’m glad I had the colonoscopy. It is important to rule some things out, and helps narrow down what is actually wrong. I am glad I didn’t give myself time to get worked up and anxious about it. I did manage to stay positive through the procedure. I am glad that I found my new doctor and hope that we can work together to make me pain-free. He seems very good and he has explained his thoughts to me quite plainly. He is actually the only doctor I have had who has talked to me frankly about my situation. I am starting a new pain care routine that will hopefully help manage my symptoms.

I may post later about the opposite kind of response I had from the new urologist I saw last week. The experience was like night and day.